Gratitude Modeling

Gratitude Modeling

I hope everyone who celebrates had a great Thanksgiving. Ours was AMAZING, minus the 911 and state trooper event, but I'll save that for another blog post.
 

Today I want to talk about extending our gratitude and thanks far beyond the holidays. 
 

Have you ever felt like your kids have no idea how good they have it? It can feel really hard when they don't see all that they have as blessings, and are looking for more or different. 
 

As parents we walk a find line between encouraging guilt trip- "You should appreciate that food; there are kids all over the world without any." AND gratitude- "I know it's not your favorite dinner, but aren't we lucky to have food on the table every night?" One is a tiny bit better than the other, but both imply a "should" energy to normal feelings. They also attempt to use a moment of dis-ease as a teaching opportunity. 
 

I've found the absolute easiest and most effective way to encourage kids to be thankful is to model our own thanks to them. This method works best as a consistent practice, not in times of dis-ease, or only on holidays. Here are some examples you might hear in my house:
 

  • "I feel lucky to have all this clear warm water to shower in."

  • "Our house feels so clean and cozy tonight."

  • "This food is really yummy."

  • "There are so many places we can go to buy healthy groceries."

  • "I love having you in my life."


This practice of modeling gratitude not only teaches our kids how we think, but reminds us to practice thankfulness regularly. The results aren't one stop shopping, but they build over time.
 

When we do find ourselves in a situation where our kids feel ungrateful or "spoiled", we can say nothing at all, or stick to simple phrases like "I'm sorry you are having a hard time." OR, "I know this is not your favorite."
 

"The Model"- a Brooke Castillo process, with an Amanda Kingsley twist...


SITUATION
- "Spoiled" kid syndrome


THOUGHT ABOUT THE SITUATION
- “Why can't they see how lucky they are?”


THE FEELING THIS THOUGHT TRIGGERS
- Frustration


THE ACTION TAKEN FROM THIS FEELING
- Nagging, lecturing, and or feeling guilty for not teaching them better.


THE RESULT OF THIS ACTION
- Frustrated mom, dismissed and anrgy kids (likelihood of lesson being learned- slim to none) 
 

ASK (Is this in alignment with my WHY?)
-No

 

The Model applied for realignment: 


SAME SITUATION
- "Spoiled" kid syndrome


NEW THOUGHT ABOUT THE SAME SITUATION
- “How, where, and when can I show my gratitude, instead of expecting gratitude?" 


THE NEW FEELING THIS THOUGHT TRIGGERS
- Curiousity


THE NEW ACTION TAKEN FROM THIS FEELING
- Looking for moments of thanks to share out loud throughout the day.


THE RESULT
- Sharing thanks and gratitude becomes a part of the family culture, vs. a topic of discussion in times of frustration. 


ASK (Is this in alignment with my WHY?)
-YES!
 

WIN!

 

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Text: 413-522-4692
Email: amandastarkingsley@gmail.com
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