Our Job in the World
Mommy confession...
My 4 year old has been freaking me out a bit. Saying things like:
"I hate everyone."
"I'm dumb."
"People are boring."
It's like he knows exactly how to push my buttons.
His energy (presence) feels: creative, grounded, secure, gentle, and loving. But his words are all "ICK". I want to believe they are just words, but there's that little piece of me that thinks, "What if my kids turns out to be crazy, depressed, or miserable in life?"
So I do what I know how to do. I listen, redirect, and teach.
I ask myself, "What lesson is asking to be taught here?" The answer is kindness.
"Bud, do you know what our job in the world is?"
"What?" he asks.
"To be kind to ourselves and to others. First to ourselves, and then to others. We must always choose kindness."
It breaks his state. Triggers us both to think. He doesn't argue with me, and I don't discount his words. We just take a moment and let it soak in.
Does this mean that I won't have a crazy, depressed, or miserable kid someday? Only time will tell, but right now all I have is this moment, and that's how I choose to engage in it.
Here's how I do the work:
Thought
Question
Action
Thought:
- "My kid is damaged."
Who does this thought belong to?
- Fear, and an attachment to the rising awareness around mentally unstable human beings.
What purpose does this thought serve?
- None
When am I ready to release this thought?
- Now!
Where do I need to put this thought next?
- Far away. Imagine it in a bubble and explode it.
Why am I giving this thought power?
- Fear is a natural part of raising human beings.
How can my WHY and or purpose lead me to my next action?
-My WHY is FREEDOM. Parenting with a fear that my kid is a freak feels everything but FREE. FREEDOM asks me to get rid of that thought and use the moment to share the most important message I can possible share. Kindness. FREEDOM also reminds me that if he does end up crazy, depressed, or miserable he is here to live his life, and I am here to live mine. I cannot let anyone else's experience tie me down, even if it's the experience of a person who I love unconditionally with all my heart.
