Non-Binary Body Autonomy
Mattia Maurée comes to this conversation with multiple layers of connection to abortion, and a complexly beautiful history of understanding themself. In their daily live they help AuDHD creatives & entrepreneurs who who want to build a life around their true genius, but struggle to manage their day-to-day.
Learn more here:
https://mattiamauree.com and or https://linktr.ee/mattiam
Show Notes:
Podcast AuDHD Flourishing
Podcast The Longer Road
“One of the first people in my lineage to have choices” about what I do with my uterus
Personal experience with abortion
Mom would have died if abortion was illegal- still identifies as prolife
Grew up in the Quiverfull movement with domestic violence
When your value comes from having/producing more children
When our bodies are seen as a vessel “a tool and an object for making more Christian babies”
Therapy after a sexual assault led to an unraveling of childhood perspective
“One of the reasons I was assaulted was because I was literally raised to believe I didn’t have bodily autonomy”
“I was not allowed to make choices about my body as a child”
Coming out as queer realized that “the way I thought about myself was so objectifying”
“Being non-binary but not knowing that; my body before I transitioned felt like someone else’s body”
Being human is messy
90% of autistic women have been sexually assaulted “autistic people are used to pushing through and not having their physical boundaries accepted” … “not understanding people’s intentions”
“The messages I’ve been told don’t make sense and I refuse to accept them”
When the autistic “part” of you is the part that keeps you safe
Did a lot of the parenting for 6 younger siblings one of whom remarked “we’re all okay because you’re okay but we have no idea how you’re okay”
Abortion in 2011, “a very positive experience in a lot of ways”
Out of touch with parents and stepped back from siblings 2014
Abortion autonomy helped in gender autonomy
I have the power to move my life in the direction that I choose
“I don’t mind my body, I just hate the way people talk about it”
Made “grieving time” on my calendar “intentional space” (didn’t end up needing it)
“I knew two things at the time; I knew I wouldn’t survive the pregnancy… knew that I would be an awful parent at that point… there’s no way this can go well”
“I am making this decision for myself, which I was not used to doing”
“Part of my grief was grieving for my mom and my grammas”
“... how many people I know who didn’t get to heal” because they had kids
“Keep listening to other people’s stories, because you will hear something eventually that will be like- that’s it” “stay open- keep looking”
Talking about abortion is very exposing in many ways
“Creativity and the arts have been the single most healing thing”
“My first string quartet was about mental health”
Somatic processing- “a lot of what I needed to process, I didn’t need to talk about”
"Originally published in Arc Poetry Magazine 97"
