5 Tips for the Holiday Feels

The holidays are coming.
In the cycling seasons you could ask "when aren't they coming?"

But as we reach the end of November we approach a string of holiday events, services, and traditions that stir up a lot of feelings for people. I wrote my first public article about my abortion in the holiday season. It wasn't published (in Mothering Magazine) until months later, but when I wrote it everything felt deeply raw and emotional.

If you've lost a pregnancy to abortion, these 5 tips might be extra helpful as we navigate the next few months. Honestly they're helpful for all of us who have lost and grieved anything in our lives.

1) Allow your feelings.

The human experience is loaded with emotional reactions to our thoughts and experiences. What causes us pain are not the emotions themselves, but our resistance to them. Allowing our feelings looks like "I am sad." "Resisting our feelings looks like "I shouldn't be sad" or "I don't have time to be sad."

2) Lean into a friend or safe space.

Human beings are herd animals.
You are not meant to do this alone.
Decide what you are looking for (ears to listen, tools for coping, a nudge to go after your dream life)
and reach out to the person pr people who can be present with you.

3) Declutter your mind.

Clutter equals confusion. Grab a pen and paper and write out all your thoughts and feelings. Empty your mind completely and then decide what you want to put back in, what you want to release, and what you need to work on.

4) Declutter your space.

If you have lingering items, things, or rooms that represent your loss, it's time to let them go. Burn the paperwork you no longer need, donate the baby clothes you thought you'd use, clean the closet that fell storage to your shop therapy.

5) Nourish yourself.

What has your body, mind, and or spirit been calling for?
A massage.
Dinner with a friend.
Exercise.
Life Coaching?

This is the perfect time to take care or YOU!